My Father's Daughter

Five Minute Friday, (even though I'm writing on a Sunday) where a beautiful crowd, led by Lisa Jo Baker, write with a prompt, no editing, self doubt or jitters.  We link up.  We visit each other.  We see the power of words. This week: True True stories are never simple. Real life is complicated. True love isn't what it seems. Thinking on what is true means weeding through countless lies. Truth gets all tangled in shadow, intentions, and agendas. It's a hunt. Being true isn't just about saying what is, it's about love. Truth without love isn't truth at all. I forget this. I forget this when I open my mouth and the harsh words fly out. I forget this when I silently grumble about all the people around me are lacking. I forget this when I'm so focused on me and how I was wronged. Those words and those thought might be based on what's happened, on reality around me, but truth is more that what is. I said to my youngest son the other day "it do

{photo credit Ann Voskamp via Incourage }  I'm linking this here for my friends who haven't read it yet. Perfect list as September peeks around the corner. These words jump out and speak to my spirit,  words like: # 1. Life is not an emergency.  Life’s a gift.  Just. Slow. Down. And # 7. A pail with a pinhole loses as much as the pail pushed right over   A minute dawdled here, a minute scrolling there — they can add up to your life.  And # 10. Love is patient.  Parenting’s this gentle way of bending over in humility to help the scraped child up because we intimately know it takes a lifetime to learn how to walk with Him Click here to read the whole beautiful list----> 10 Ways To Be A Happier Mom

It's been a while since I posted. A whole season has just about slipped by. I have been writing, in my head and things I haven't published. This summer has been...all muddled and messy. I'm realizing, for someone who thinks she doesn't like schedules, I sure do fall apart when we don't have one. The weather was tough for summer fun here in the northeast. Rainy and cool for most of the season. That made spending all our time and boys' big energy at the pool a little difficult. My sister had major spinal surgery and her kids needed some tending to; my bother's son needed a decent babysitter. I got all wild and crazy and decided to Be the Gift for my 34th birthday last week, {because I wasn't stretched just about thin enough as that week rolled around!}. Earlier this month I stopped cold and looked at myself and I was more than slightly disgusted.  I was wondering just how long my voice has sounded that angry, frustrated, harsh. When I realized that i

I'm not a person who thrives on have-to's and rigid schedules. I like to wing it. I like to see where the day or even the hour takes me. This can be a nice thing for my eclectic-ish style of homeschooling (in theory) I can meander down a path with my kids and see where it takes us. But I'm a person who struggles with fear. Fear that I won't do a good job, fear that I'm ruining my kids, fear that I'll never get this life right. So when I fail (and at some point I always do) I tend to blame my carefree permissive streak. "If only we stuck to the schedule we'd get more done" "If only we ate when we were supposed to then boys wouldn't be so grumpy" "If only I {you, they} got up on time then we wouldn't be so late" We have a nice tidy schedule posted on our kitchen wall. I'm not sure we ever stuck to it, even once. This entire school year I found myself setting limits {like we must stop work at 12 noon to make it to p

Because I need a better plan, or maybe just one that I'll actually follow.... ~My day will begin early and with the Word. ~My hands will reach first for my Bible. ~I won't attempt to give out of an empty cup. Even if it's just for a few minutes my thoughts will be gathered and I will pray for strength and peace. ~I'll remember my purpose and my message. I'll remember that my message  is damaged if i can't at least attempt to live out my beliefs. ~I will praise and fill the cups of my family, for a gentle answer turns away wrath. ~I will not take grumpy attitudes personally, for we all are on our own walk. ~My attitude will not depend on others, for my God's love doesn't depend on mine. ~I'll give grace as well as accept it. ~I'll let things go rather than let them fall apart. ~I will smile. I will laugh. ~I will stop putting all life on hold to get through lessons. Life is a lesson. We won't let school work define our wh

{ Five Minute Friday } I have a feeling this will take more than five minutes... We haven't been nearly brave enough.... I read a blog post  and I can't get it out of my head. And I've been thinking on just how she's right and if we want to be brave we need to look at this and let it change us. Because it will take bravery and courage and commitment and love to fix what is broken. A trial began in March. The man is charged with murder. He broke so many laws I lost count. He took countless lives and put countless more at risk. He murdered innocent babies with a pair of scissors. But strangely the national media was mostly quiet over this. I read about it on a blog . I had to search to find the story. Gosnell ran a clinic just a few miles from where I live and work. He's practiced there for years (3 decades, actually). He's an abortion doctor whose practices are foul, unsanitary, immoral, disturbing, unthinkable....I can't seem to find

22  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24  If you're a woman and you've been to church more than like, once, you heard a thing or two about submission. It's treated a little like a dirty word. Many women cringe when the topic comes up. I read a post this week over on Prodigal Magazine that provoked quite a frenzy of comments. I read about 350 of the over 500 comments on this topic of a woman submitting to her husband. It made my head hurt. But I couldn't stop reading. I was so surprised at the sheer amount and utter indignation from this crowd of what I believe are mostly christian women. Over and over again so many commenters said that it isn't biblical to say the wife must submit to her hu

Remember. We are a people who can so easily forget. Our Maker knew this when He made His people and gave us His commands. We forgot in the Garden and we forgot in desert. We forgot in so many places and in so many ways.  He said Remember.  He greeted Moses as the "LORD God who brought them out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery". Just in case any of them may have forgotten their emancipation. They did forget. And so do we.  We forget to treasure and give thanks. We forgot to honor and worship and that these very lives were given to us by Him. We forget. I know I forget the prayers I prayed early in the morning: prayers to honor God with this day, about 10 minutes after I say Amen when I'm frustrated with kids and do-to's. We're a people with amnesia.  Our God reaches in and pulls us out of slavery and sin and disparity...and we forget. He knew we would. God set up many reminders for us. Right there in those 10 commands He says Remember: "reme

Read. This. Right. Now. About Steubenville: 25 Things Our Sons Need to Know about Manhood "Because a Steubenville doesn’t begin with football and it doesn’t begin with alcohol and it doesn’t begin with unsupervised jocks with inflated egos and shriveled morals. It begins with one woman bringing home a man-child in her arms, one mama unwrapping that blanket and what it means to raise up a man".

Five Minute Friday (having trouble posting so it's on a Wednesday). Where we write for 5 minutes with a prompt for the pure joy of it. Come on over and join the fun. Rest... A funny subject to come up because rest seems so elusive lately. Maybe it's not just lately. The weight and the burden and the pace in which I (we?) keep is so exhausting. Sleep has always been something I need to work at. It's been that way since I was a kid. Now it's just a given, I function on little rest a lot of the time. My mind never quiets. My ideas and concerns and plans have such a difficult time keeping their voices down. the nights are long but sleep is not. And getting out of bed seems near impossible when I think about all that lies ahead. Night-shift doesn't help (in fact it should take much of the blame). But before night-shift it was babies and before babies it was newly-wed worries and before that I was a teen who couldn't escape her thoughts. It seems to just

 I have been naming my years. I don't think I ever shared that before.  I didn't know that others do this until I saw this post a couple years ago. Instead of resolutions I found myself giving a name to what was coming. I've been reluctant to say these names out loud until now, I'm not really sure why. I've mentioned before how putting words to things and ideas is how something becomes real to me. Writing untangles my mess of thoughts. Keeps things linear. So giving a year a word to weigh it down, to make it real, just kind of happened.  I think I was half way through the year the first time I realized it had a theme. I don't remember how long ago, and there were many years where I had no words, it was just babies and no sleep and just surviving. But the first year I remember naming was named Help. I was desperate for an ear, an arm, an understanding smile. A place to fit. I needed a friend, another mama? Someone to see I was drowning. This th

Five minute Friday about who my mama is. We write for five minutes, with a prompt, because we love the words and we love the community. What mama did.. Go She loved. She worked. She poured God into every crevice of our lives that she possibly could. My mama. That mama of 6. She watched her middle daughter go through chemo and depression. She gave me all she had. She became a nurse and did the job of a mama and a dad. She persevered. And that's saying something. Because the 6 of us? We weren't easy. We were downright unruly. She made mistakes. She taught us all how to cling to God. How to give thanks. She taught us that life is tough but God is tougher. She is still teaching me how to loosen my grip and just let God work. She told me that I just need to do the next right thing. Not be overwhelmed in fixing all the mess but just do the next thing. That's all. My mama with her 6 kids her 2 daughters-in-law and her 2 sons- in-law, her 16 grandchildren a

Thinking on this Super Bowl Commercial About How God Made a Farmer    and then this post on Mothers.    These made me think of how, really, women were the very last thing God created. That's a powerful concept. Before there could be a mother or a family, a society or community there needed to be a woman. So often we {women?} can feel put upon or burdened by all that is expected of us. But what if, maybe we feel saddled because this life and this world has told us things should be dufferent than they are. What if all this weight is because we don't know who we are, if we aren't living up to all we are expected to be? All we are created to be. God looked over all His creation, creation He deemed good, and decided one last finishing touch was needed. So God made a woman. Actually, what He made was a wife. He saw that man He made needed someone: so God made a woman. He knew this man would need a friend: so God made a w

The new year is here. Almost a month into 2013, just about 1/12 of the way through, and really, I haven't begun. I feel like each week I set out to make a fresh start and each week I fall flat. On my face. A mess. So many good intentions poorly executed. Then there were sick kids, a sick mama, sleep deprivation, a mysterious set of hives driving a 7 year old crazy; and maybe the most challenging- still working on sorting out how to all be home together. The time seems to be slipping by and the enemy will use any and all things to keep us from God's best for us. I need a plan. After prayer, prodding and a little arm twisting, I'm recommitting, reorganizing, and reconnecting to the vision and goals I have for my life, for the lives of those young souls I teach and raise. In the midst of gearing up to start again (again) I read this post . I read and I find it hard to believe that I'm looking at exactly what I need. {photo and manifesto credit: Ann Voskamp } Thi

Five Minute Friday (on a Saturday). Where a whole crowd writes for five minutes for just the fun of it. It's community. It's writing. It makes me smile. Stop on over and join in. Again... GO How can I be here again? In this place of frustration with my self, frustration with my circumstance. How can this be my reality again? The failing and the falling and the never seeming to get it right. Again. I have good intentions and lofty expectations and again they fall flat. I suppose Paul felt the same when he wrote this all too familiar dance: "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing " .     {Romans 7:19}                    Again, I do not do the good I want. Why is it so hard? How can I wake up thinking that this day will be different but I fall back into all my old patterns?  I will choose the better way. To choose good and forsake evil. I'll set out again, holding to the promise. It's the openin

So this might just be revolutionary . Fix your marriage by not focusing on the problems. Work on building up new strengths. Work on building up your spouse. Work on making your marriage stronger than it is. And then something amazing happens: lots of those problems you thought would never get worked out disappear. Don't focus on working out who did what and said what when, who's hurting whom and who has the biggest load to bear. Because when you're dividing up and pointing fingers, it only tears down a marriage. Work on building new strength and new value. Smile more. Seriously, just smile. Just smiling more can improve your marriage. Really. Even if you don't feel like smiling. Smiling elevates mood and they are contagious. It's the opposite of what most marriage counselors will do. Most go back and dig up the past. Old wounds surface and it all feels too hard. But there's another way.  I can't believe I haven't really thought of this bef

A friend ask me to make this list months ago. I was disappointed when I sat down to write it that there weren't more to add. I'd love to hear your ideas. Leave them in them comments. I can be called strict when it comes to what movies and books I allow my kids to be exposed to. I truly believe that media can shape a world view so I try to be as selective as possible with what I allow to shape my kids. While I can, I want to protect the them from agendas and just nonsense that can be so common in today's entertainment and books aimed at children. The list is geared towards boys 10 and under because that's who live in my home. But most of these, I'm sure, girls will enjoy just as much. To make my highly recommend list the movie has to have a positive portrayal of adults and children, no (or almost no) questionable or obnoxious language, and an overall positive theme. I also have a list of movies I find ok or even good but they may have a small amount of question

So its been a while. I haven't taken time to write. December seems like it was such a blur. It was a very stressful month for me {Ok so yes, more than slightly}. But good....I think. Those who know me know that when I read about something I tend to...um... really read about it.When I teach my kids I try to read everything I can about the subject. My sons like to ask good { hard ?} questions and being their mom and teacher makes me want to have as good a handle on tough topics as I can. Sometimes "every thing I can read" is more than other times (depends on my time and interest and necessity). I've never actually known just how much I love to learn until I started homeschooling my kids.  In December that subject was Rome in the 4th century and Constantine and the beginnings of the Christian "church" that we know today. Well, I became a little frustrated with what I was learning. I won't make this a history lesson but I learned that many { all ?}