I need a word or scripture or something...for when you spent 20 years trying to raise a family and keep a hard marriage together and work and homeschool and you forgot people you should have been responsible for. For when you didn't pursue someone who who needed pursuing. When you're so distracted with what was in front of your face you forgot the big picture. When you beg to God for more children and you forgot that you already have some that should have been in your care. When it's too late and you can't do anything to fix any of your mistakes. And you don't want to cry in front of your husband because it makes him feel so much guilt.... And every time someone says 'you can't blame yourself" you want to respond with "why the hell can't I"......