My Father's Daughter

I'm excited. I'm excited about this community of moms and women out there who remind me I'm not crazy. Because you know, sometimes I so feel I am. I sometimes feel so crazy and defeated by trying to raise these boys to be great, God-fearing men. Sometimes I feel so awfully afraid that I'm failing and that there is no fruit to all this hard work. And sometimes I just can't understand how I can have such good intentions and so many great expectations but still fail so hard everyday. But it's not just me. It's this thing of raising boys. It's raising these loud, energetic, messy and sometimes obstinate sons. It's this trying to figure out how to help lead these soon-to-be-men into adulthood. I'm scared but I'm not the only one. There are plenty of mamas out there who feel just like me, who struggle just like me, who fail little failures everyday just like me.  One of these lovely "boy moms" wrote an  ebook to lead us crazy mam

I read Jess's post over at Making Home . It struck a nerve. It was good though. Just what I needed to read about anger and short tempers....and maybe, just maybe my kids' bickering and discontentment is just a magnification of my own. {sigh}. I yell. Way too often. I wrote a Five Minute Friday about just that. But this week I was no better. I do have some anger issues. I have a temper that needs to settle. I thought it had gotten better over the last couple of years but I think I was ignoring  my problem instead of dealing with it. Jess quoted John Piper, saying  " Being someone different when you think no one else is looking is functional atheism.  God is always there. " So yes, I'm angry and I'm angry much too often. I'm angry about the children and their childish complaints. I get angry when things don't go the way I planned. I get angry when things don't go my way.  Even when I'm angry but I don't let it show, when I'm just gr