My Father's Daughter

It's strange how in all this busy and in all this rush and in all this crazy that one could still feel an empty space.  But so often we do.  I'll bet just about everyone of us does at one time or another. We try to fill it with all kinds of things: work, kids, hobbies, marriage. When those things don't work to fill up the void we move on. We try to just forget about it; we try to find ways to feel good as we travel on. It works for a while. We're so easily distractable. It's never enough, though. A husband won't be enough (he'll fail you, at some point, because he's human too). Kids can't fill it, at least not forever (they do get lives of their own). Work can distract but it doesn't make you whole (how often do we tell ourselves if I could just work harder or do better...). All of life's momentary pleasures can surely take your mind off the space but it usually leaves the space bigger when the pleasure ends. But eventually it sto...

Five Minute Friday  (but mine's usually on Saturday) where we write with a prompt for 5 minutes without thinking (too much) or revising. We're just writing because we love the words. Loud. Go. Loud makes me cringe lately. My loud voice scolding a child. Their loud voices trying to out do mine. I saw a parent today be "loud" to his son in a very quiet way. Oh how it stung me to watch him sting that boy with his words. Watching that loud harsh whisper, the kind we use in public when we no longer want to debate our children, when we just want them silent and obedient (when is the last time I was silent and obedient?), it just held up a mirror. Love should rarely be loud, unless it's in laughter. I'm reminded that a gentle answer turns away wrath and that they rarely hear the words if they are being wounded by the volume. So I can save loud for music, playtime and tickle fights. Stop. Visit The Gypsy Mama and join in.

I tend to forget that there is so much more to reality than what I can see. When nothing will go the way I intend and I can't seem to do anything the right way and kids seem purposefully awful and everything is just a mess, there truly is more going on than can be seen with human eyes. There are battles everyday. We know Who prevails in the end but the battle for hearts still takes a toll on the lives we lead. I've realized recently that calm waters isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm noticing that the waves and the storms that make me cling to Him for dear life have much more use than the hypnotizing facade of floating along all unruffled. If I'm skating by under the radar and Satan has no reason to want to mess with me, then I'm doing something wrong. If I'm doing a good enough job at tearing down my own home that the father of lies doesn't need to assist, I'm in a very dangerous place. There are times when these battles will be worse tha...

It isn't that we give thanks because we are joy-filled, but we are joy-filled because we give thanks. February's Joy Dare ~capturing the grace~ sharing some of my One Thousand Gifts that I'm recording in 2012.... gifts at 11:30 2:30 and 6:30 94. landing in Miami~safe and halfway home 95. airport lunch 96. landing in Philadelphia a little earlier than expected~so glad to be home 3 things overheard today~all gifts 97. Noah: mom, what can I do to help?" 98. Steve talking to Noah about his lost gift card saying "don't be too upset. It's only money. It can be replaced". 99. Nate saying "I'll make the list" to we get ready to grocery shop 3 gifts found in writing 100. birthday cards for a dear friend 101. emails and texts welcoming me home from people who missed me 102. blog post reminding me what's most important ...... one gift stitched , one hammered, one woven 106. my oldest son's "puppy"...

I keep trying to type out my gifts but I am finding myself distracted by the comment thread over at (in)courage . Ann wrote about 5 Ways to Fight Through to a Loving Marriage . Her words (as always) ring so true and are so encouraging. The day I read the post, though, I was...struggling.  It's amazing and heartbraking to hear how some of the women over there have shared their hearts, commenting on Ann's post, and being so vulnerable I was so impressed with the thread, Ann with her replies: praying lifting speaking words that bless, and all the other women too: standing together women for women, even if it's virtual. “Are women really like ambulances? When we are most in need of tender care, we’re these screaming sirens? And that’s why men pull far away — getting out of the way and off the road?”  I read those words through tears and still they didn't keep me from being that siren only hours later, making my man get out of my way. But it is like she said, w...

Five minute Friday and it's a tough one...Trust. Here we write for five minutes, with a prompt. No editing or rethinking. Just writing without worrying. So, TRUST It almost feels like it should be a four letter word. How hard it can be to trust, to believe, to step out in faith towards something without really knowing or seeing, without having all the answers ahead of time, without knowing what will happen. It takes someone very brave to trust what your eyes can't see (sometimes even what they do see). But we do ask this of our children, don't we? We tell them "Do what I ask even though you don't understand, even though you can't see what I see. I love you. Trust me." So when He tells me the same how then do I say "no". This is what He means when he tells us to be like children if we want to enter His kingdom.   So, Trust. I'll {try to} be brave I'll keeping making that choice, that sometimes hurts so much to trust my God,...

The rest of January ~all the joys~the gift hunt.... 3 ways I saw happiness today 46. giggling boys at breakfast 47. dancing and singing in the kitchen 48. sitting down next to the youngest as he excitedly plays the piano one gift that made me laugh~one that made me pray~one that made me quiet 49. watching silly tv with my husband 50. complaints from kids about schoolwork~reminding me to pray for patience 51. snuggling with each boy at night as I tuck them in and listen ti their stories 3 gifts from God's word 52.  Psalm 100:3 ~KNOW that the Lord is GOD... 53.  1 Corinthians 15:10 ~...by Grace alone... 54.  Colossians 1 ~...He rescues...Holds....and gives HOPE a grace in the kitchen, a grace in the weather, a grace that might have never been 55. our blackboard wall 56. this mild winter 57. to know love this way 3 gifts I only saw close up 58. the frustration behind the tantrum when I looked into those big brown eyes 59. these children in this hospi...