Skip to main content

That saved a Wretch Like Me

I'm feeling so wrong. This week wasn't very good. This week I wasn't very good. I fell so short of who I set out to be. I reacted instead of loved. I yelled instead of corrected. I didn't build up these little souls trusted to my care. My youngest son said today "I'm the worst kid". That was my fault. I made him feel that way. My words and actions made my son feel not good enough. That moment did it for me though. I sat with him on the couch and told how sorry I was that my words made him feel that way, how much he means to me, and how Jesus helps us be more than just good enough.

Those words spoken by my sweet six year old, that brought the word wretch to mind. How much grace does it take to keep me right where I am this minute? How much grace have I offered these little boys?

We got "back to school" with a bang this year. Our first year of reporting and I was gonna get it right: schedules, lesson plans, staying on track. But something is still missing. Getting it all done has become my focus and it never has before. I'm thinking of my boys' faces and I'm feeling so convicted. That weekly lesson plan has been more important than our relationship, more important than them. 

I'm so thankful it's October and I'm getting this. It would be worse if it were December...or June.

All that beautiful grace that saves me everyday...my job is to give that to them, to let it pass right through me. The finished to do list means nothing if I give up our relationship. The math facts and vocabulary memorized are pointless if they don't feel their Father's love and acceptance come from me.

His Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound...

Comments

Post a Comment

Hello and Welcome. Just a note on comments. I leave them open but I ask that comments be respectful. To me, to God and to His word. I will remove anything that isn't.

Popular posts from this blog

This Harsh World, The Butterfly Effect and The End of the Story

These last few weeks have been hard to process. I feel overwhelmed with the realities of this world. The reality that this is a hard and sad, broken place. The shootings in Aurora, the continued genocide in Zimbabwe , the attacks on men standing firm in what they believe , the selling of people and the list can go on and on. I strongly believe with all that I am that we serve a Good and Merciful God. And yet in times like this I can doubt and question where is His goodness when we need it most. I'll never cease to be amazed at how my God answers me. It was all over everywhere. As I questioned and shook my fists and asked "why?" and " how could you let this be?", He gently answered me over and over again .  As I asked these questions with tears in my eyes, He reminded me of the book I had finished on the beach a few weeks ago. This man full of God given wisdom wrote: There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and...
4 comments
Read more

Expectations

Five minute Friday where we write for 5 minutes, link up and read (encourage and compliment) the person linked before us. We write for 5 minutes without editing. Visit The Gypsy Mama and join in. Expectations.. . Go Expectations kill relationships. I can't think of one relationship that doesn't suffer because of expectations. Sure, we have to have them to some degree. We expect safety and civility. We have higher expectations of respect and love. And even higher ones of knights in armor and happy endings. But really, what would happen if we let all the expectations go? If the ones we loved didn't have to live up to some story or image we built up in our heads? What if we took each interaction on it's own merit. What if we loved the best way we knew how and stopped letting ourselves be disappointed with how things turned out, or how they didn't. Or maybe we could adjust what we expect. Maybe we expect the pain and the struggle. No one said there wasn't...
4 comments
Read more