Skip to main content

Reintroduction

I have had it mostly together for the last 12 years or so. I met my husband while I was in high school (he was not as he's 9 years older than I am). I got my act together, by God's grace, graduated high school, went directly to nursing school, graduated, had the same pediatric nursing job for 10 years, homeschool my 2 boys, love my family and put God first in all we do......then I turned 30. My husband and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. I'm not sure what has happened to my mind in the last several months. I am trying to be ok with the fact I will never have another child. I am trying to fill the empty spaces. I am trying to depend on God. I am trying to pray and talk to my husband. I want to scream. I want to run. I want to feel. What is going on? Who am I? I don't recognize myself.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This Harsh World, The Butterfly Effect and The End of the Story

These last few weeks have been hard to process. I feel overwhelmed with the realities of this world. The reality that this is a hard and sad, broken place. The shootings in Aurora, the continued genocide in Zimbabwe , the attacks on men standing firm in what they believe , the selling of people and the list can go on and on. I strongly believe with all that I am that we serve a Good and Merciful God. And yet in times like this I can doubt and question where is His goodness when we need it most. I'll never cease to be amazed at how my God answers me. It was all over everywhere. As I questioned and shook my fists and asked "why?" and " how could you let this be?", He gently answered me over and over again .  As I asked these questions with tears in my eyes, He reminded me of the book I had finished on the beach a few weeks ago. This man full of God given wisdom wrote: There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and...

Expectations

Five minute Friday where we write for 5 minutes, link up and read (encourage and compliment) the person linked before us. We write for 5 minutes without editing. Visit The Gypsy Mama and join in. Expectations.. . Go Expectations kill relationships. I can't think of one relationship that doesn't suffer because of expectations. Sure, we have to have them to some degree. We expect safety and civility. We have higher expectations of respect and love. And even higher ones of knights in armor and happy endings. But really, what would happen if we let all the expectations go? If the ones we loved didn't have to live up to some story or image we built up in our heads? What if we took each interaction on it's own merit. What if we loved the best way we knew how and stopped letting ourselves be disappointed with how things turned out, or how they didn't. Or maybe we could adjust what we expect. Maybe we expect the pain and the struggle. No one said there wasn't...