My Father's Daughter

It is amazing, this mothering force that we women seem to be born with. Then, just moments after we conceive or welcome a child into our homes this force goes into overdrive. The love we have for our kids is unexplainable, unstoppable . It's a love that is overwhelming. Someone once said to be a mother is to forever have your heart walking around outside your body. We love and nurture our children so they will grow in body and spirit; we encourage them to stay close so they'll be safe as we encourage independence ; we love them unconditionally; we watch our little ones make mistakes and pray they learn from them; we teach and train and guide and love. I am made in my Creator's image. I am so humbled when I remember one of the reasons that God has given me this gift of motherhood is as an insight into His heart. My love for my children is just a tiny fraction of the love that my Father has for me. He watches me stumble as I refuse his guidance. He loves me. He swells with ...

It saddens me when I realize, several hours after the fact, that one of my kids said or did something precious but I was too distracted to notice. My 3 year old went into my wallet at the park and took out 3 pennies and said "I need these". I just said OK and continued my internal conversation with myself about the trillion things that need to get done. I just now realized that he took the money to go "buy" some kind of "thing" at the "store". In a few minutes he brought back the pennies and for about 5 minutes he worked on opening the zipper to my wallet with his one hand full. Never once did he ask for help and he refused my help when I offered. I get to be there for all these wonderful interactions with my kids but how often am I not really there? I read my last few blogs and in one I stated my goals for that week were to put God first, and to be in the moment...every moment. Well, they continue to be my goals. We leave for Maine in the mo...

One of my last entries talked about 'doubting my doubts' and my faith being based on 'rock solid truth' . I can't help but think it's significant that since my last blog I have found good reason to doubt many of my beliefs. I don't mean losing faith in my God but more realizing that so much of what I believe only comes from traditions of the Church. So much of what I always thought I knew by heart isn't actually in the bible. It has been strange to realize that growing up a 'church kid' can be a bit numbing to what is in the written word. So much of the bible is not just Sunday school stories. I actually have never been so excited about reading my bible and allowing God's Spirit to speak to me rather than taking someone elses predigested version of the truth. Things are not as clear as some would like us to think...and that is OK. God wants to be the one with all the answers. He does not want us walking around thinking we know all there is to...