My Father's Daughter

I need a word or scripture or something...for when you spent 20 years trying to raise a family and keep a hard marriage together and work and homeschool and you forgot people you should have been responsible for. For when you didn't pursue someone who who needed pursuing. When you're so distracted with what was in front of your face you forgot the big picture. When you beg to God for more children and you forgot that you already have some that should have been in your care. When it's too late and you can't do anything to fix any of your mistakes. And you don't want to cry in front of your husband because it makes him feel so much guilt.... And every time someone says 'you can't blame yourself" you want to respond with "why the hell can't I"......

Happy 7th Day! It's the first Sabbath of the New Biblical Year and Passover, Unleavened Bread, and First Fruits are just around the corner. I thought I'd pop in here and mention the Torah Portion and some info on the Appointed Times in general or on Passover specifically, but I'm feeling led to focus on something off topic... or actually... maybe it's not off topic at all. I've been drawn towards studying the Fruits of the Spirit lately. It's certainly not the first time. For most Bible believers this is a well known passage in Galatians. Years ago I wrote a study on it for my kids. I'll have to dig that out again. But this time, perhaps in readying my heart for Passover, I'm seeing it new and differently. If you look at the end of Galatians 5, you see those familiar verses-- 22 But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self control; against such there is no law. How many times

{Reviving my old love of writing just for the fun of it... joining up again with Five minute Friday } We write for five minutes with no edits or do overs. We just write with a prompt for the love of the words. This week's word.. Define. Go... I JUST had a conversation with someone I love about what defines us. How careful we should be before we finish that thought. What defines you? Have you ever thought of that? If you had to write out a Miriam Webster's Definition, what would it be? If you have any social media profile at all, you may have had to think of this a bit to get some of who you are to fit in a little caption under your picture. But is that ever even really accurate? What defines me? I glance up at the title of my blog and I'm smiling. So many times I've gone to change that... but... I can't. There is NO other title that I want to define who I am. Even though I can often forget, I AM my Father's Daughter. I am that before I am anything e

I opened my little prayer journal today. I opened to the last thing I wrote and it said: Tuesday, 2-19-17. That's it. I paused and thought and realized aside from meal and bedtime prayers with kids, had I even really prayed in almost 3 weeks? Not only I had I neglected my journal (which I had vowed to get out EVERYDAY since my mind needs me to hold a pen in order to focus for more than 10 seconds), I had also neglected my prayer time. It's as if I forgot YET AGAIN how hard a day is to navigate alone. I went on, on cruise control, until I lost every bit of momentum I had and life punched me in the stomach and I started falling backwards--- AGAIN. When will I learn that I need to eat DAILY? When will I learn that real time spent with the Creator of the Universe is the Water I need and His Words are the BREAD. Without either of those we DIE. This whole realization came after an ugly performance and tears and self pity, maybe for good reason, but probably not. Life is har

Happy Sabbath, Friends. I've missed this space. It has the words that make up who I am. I've missed you all too. So I'm coming back. It feels like coming home. See you soon. 

It's too quiet here. Words swirl. I need to untangle, to write so I know what I think....